Back in 2022, when Roe v. Wade was overturned, many women upset by this decision took to social media declaring that they were done with men and sex.
Yeah, that didn’t last long!
Well…they’re back.
Some American women committed to the ideas of progressive social justice issues see the election of Donald J. Trump as misogynistic. They are flooding social media with videos of themselves declaring abstinence and encouraging other women to leave men and/or to find affection in the arms of other women. Some are even shaving their heads on camera to make themselves unattractive to men.
Many conservatives are chalking these things up to mental fragility at the thought of having Trump as the next president, there is more going on here than just mental health issues.
This trend is an extension of a radical feminist movement that started in Korea. In 2018-2019 Korean feminists began the 4B (or “4 Nos”) movement in conjunction with the Korean “Me Too” movement. The term "4B" comes from four Korean words, each starting with "B," that make up the four tenets of the movement:
No Dating (Bi-yeonae): Women are encouraged to reject romantic heterosexual relationships in order to fight against the patriarchy and gender inequality that is thought to be present and ingrained in traditional male/female relationships.
No Marriage (Bi-hon): Refusing to marry rejects the traditional roles of husband/wife. The role of being a wife is seen as burdensome and putting unequal oppressive pressures on women. The tenet of no marriage not only challenges the traditional structure of marriage, but also the family.
No Childbirth (Bi-chulsan): Opting out of having children renounces the personal, familial, and social expectations placed on women to sacrifice not only their bodies but also their careers in exchange for 18 or more years of motherhood.
No Sexual Relationships (Bi-seonggwangye): Sexual relationships are seen as subjugating women. Women abstaining from sexual relationships with men are seen as maintaining their autonomy.
TikTok and X have been flooded in the last couple of days with posts advocating women join the 4B movement. Sadly, the women participating in these videos have bought into the cultural lies of the feminist movement. Let’s take a closer look at three of those lies.
3 Lies of the Modern Feminist Movement
Unlike many of the previous calls in the feminist movement that have set its sights on changing the behaviors of men the 4B movement calls for women to assert their independence as a stand against structural inequities within society overall.
Any action (or vote) not explicitly for (or on behalf of) women is misogynistic and marginalizes all women.
Because the marginalization of women is seen as subtle and systemic, all people must consistently work to center or elevate women. Any policy or action not centering on women is seen as misogyny and is marginalizing them. To play off of Ibram Kendi’s ideas of anti-racism: If you are not being anti-misogynistic, you are misogynistic. Yes, even women can participate in misogyny against other women.
Women are (or must be) equal with men in essence.
There are no clear or concrete distinctions between men and women. Historic or traditional roles of women are oppressive and should be rejected. Like the old song (which is definitely more apropos for our current culture) says, “Anything you can do, I can do better.”
Men are optional and the traditional roles of men are toxic.
No woman should need a man. Any man who partners with a woman should actively de-center patriarchal norms, promote equality, and foster supportive power structures and partnerships within the marriage and family. This can look like, actively listening to their partner, challenging gender-based roles or hierarchies among their children, participating equally in childcare or allowing their spouse to work while they stay home and nurture their children.
3 Truths of Historic Christianity
At this point, it might be useful to contrast these cultural lies with three critical truths of the historic Christian faith.
Claims of marginalization should be taken seriously and your sex doesn’t automatically make you a marginalized person.
The idea of marginalization and/or oppression are biblical concepts. But they also demand clear and specific definitions based in Scripture. While the word “misogyny” isn’t in the Scripture, I believe it can be biblically defined as partiality or hated toward women. Claims of misogyny and marginalization must meet a biblical standard of establishing truth claims. This includes multiple lines of evidence that is impartially weighed.
When there is no clear standard or definition of what qualifies as misogyny, then the actions taken against it can quickly devolve into being highly subjective. For example, claims of misogyny can extend from unwanted sexual comments or touching in the workplace to someone innocently asking if you’d like to have children one day. While I can get on board with fighting against unwanted sexual advances, must we really fight against innocent questions?
Men and women are not the same.
Historic Christianity teaches that men and women have been created fundamentally different, in their essence. At the core of who a man is and at the core of who a woman is, there is a separate and unique design intrinsic to each specific sex. While both sexes are created in the image of God with equal dignity, value and worth, we are distinct. And that is a good thing. While men and women may share common interests, that does not mean that we are exactly the same. While we may be similar, we are not the same.
God created man and woman and said that it was “very good.”
God’s good design for humanity is incomplete without men. Men are needed, especially if we have any hope for continuing the human race. But more than that, men should be valued for who God made them to be: protector and provider.
When women seek to step into the roles that God designed for men, society becomes truly toxic. The once distinct lanes of men and women are now so blurred that the idea of sexes having distinct lanes is seen as offensive. For example (although not explicitly feminist), the idea that a mother would be called a “birthing person” or the idea that a man can menstruate breaks down the distinct lanes that men and women once lived in and blurs the male/female distinction to point of nearly being inconsequential. But these distinctions do matter, and God says they are good.
Challenging the Narrative
The 4B movement is antithetical to the creation mandate, God’s vision for the family, and for human flourishing. We don’t have to live this way! We can reject the cultural insanity that says there’s no distinction between men and women or that all women are forever the victims to their station in life and that the only way to escape that victimhood is to rebel against men.
As Christians, we can live and raise our children according to God’s good design for humanity. We can raise them to understand that men and women are different and that is intentional and good and there is beauty in both sexes. We can be thankful for the sex we are born in and raise our child to be as well. Men love and respect women and raise your boys to do the same.
In a culture that demonizes and stigmatizes men, celebrate them. Men are created in God’s image, and every man created in God’s image has been created with a purpose. The future truly is male and female.